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Can I keep it a secret?

October 19th, 2006 at 02:45 pm

Well, its the 3rd payday in October, with one left to go, and I already have enough $$ in my checking account (with some to spare!!) to pay my mortgage due November 1. All other bills for this month have been deducted from my checking account This is a good feeling...a few months ago I wouldn't have had enough until Nov. 15, and probably would have had to borrow from savings to make the payment!
The dilemma is...should I tell DH?? He has gone along with the spending changes without complaining, and is happy about the progress made so far, but I can tell he is starting to get the old itch to buy something. If he knows that the money is available, he will inevitably want to spend some of it. He would never take it without telling me, thats not the problem...I just don't think he 'gets' that this is a lifestyle change that I am trying make, and not just a temporary fix to a problem.
Maybe I will try to work out an allowance system.

6 Responses to “Can I keep it a secret?”

  1. LuxLiving Says:

    Could you go ahead and write the check out and subtract it from the balance? You don't have to sign it or anything - if you make your payments online just go ahead and subtract the amount and then write the date paid in on the day you go online to make the payment.

    I for one wouldn't tell. I wouldn't lie if he asked, but I wouldn't volunteer the information. If he gets to feeling spendy in your presence and starts asking questions, then of course I'd tell what was going on!

  2. tynana Says:

    Sorry, I really don't believe in not sharing with one's spouse. My DH also gets the urge to spend as I do also but we are able to talk through it and see the big picture. Also perhaps you could just agree to spend a little on a great date night.

    Good luck.

  3. frugalmomof1 Says:

    I should add that DH never asks about finances...he just assumes that everything is taken care of. He knows that he isn't any good at handling money so he gladly handed me the responsibility. Whenever I try to tell him about bills or account balances, his eyes glaze over and he usually changes the subject.

    If he ever asked I would not hesitate to tell him. He knows how to access all of the information if he really wants to know whats going on. When I tell him that the checking account is low, or if we are in good shape, he will just say ok and adjust his spending accordingly.

  4. baselle Says:

    How much excess do you have? If its under $100, I wouldn't tell him anything. If its more, I would tell him, but I would half the excess, give him the idea that because we have been good, that he can spend $X amount. "A reward for your help." Hopefully he won't consider it a bribe, but a sign that you are both on the right path.

  5. Ima saver Says:

    I would not tell him. I don't keep any secrets from my husband, but he is just not iinterested in finances. I give him $60 a week, that is his allowance, but he has to buy his own gas!

  6. tinapbeana Says:

    sounds like you and i are married to the same man... ACK!!! i'm interested in what you decide to do, b/c i myself face this same issue every month now.

    i've gotten to the point where i sweep the money into my online savings account and if he asks about surplus i say "yes we had X but it's already moved and earning 5.25". that usually buys me some time!

    i'm starting to sweep most surplus into savings, but save a percentage out for carrots. by carrots i mean something to give DH an incentive & show him this is working. like "honey, we had $500 left over this month, so i put 80% is savings and now we have 100 to split to do whatever with"

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